Late night thoughts:
You *are* bullshitting to yourself. You have to stop doing that, don’t beat yourself up. Just help yourself out. You need to look for a job! You must’ve gotten in to working at the arena, but maybe the boss didn’t want you. Maybe she must’ve seen that you’re slow or something and said, “We don’t need her.” Well, fuck that. You look for a different job, and you’re getting big- Umm… Do something about that, you should literally stop lying to yourself and go out for a run or do yoga in your room if you don’t like it when dad is home. Do something! You feel like time is running out but you actually need to make time for your shit, not for mom nor dad. For YOU!!! We’ve had this convo before in the mirror. Make the fucking change! Post pictures of that body and then post that hot new one that you want when you feel like you’ve done it and you made it. Lilly, show to your parents that you want to go to that gym that has CrossFit and MMA and you want it!
They want to see you say, “No.” and for you to listen to your gut and do want you want and show them and others you speak what your mind wants to say. You are not afraid of what others got to say, stop owning to yourself to mom. Like dad says, “We are not going to be here to continue holding your hand,” and you have to think about it and do what life is trying to tell you. Go for it! You have nothing in your way. Expect for transportation, but you’ll find a way. You got this! We got this! I got this! Everyone is here for you, even if you see it or not.